The great man himself, Charles Bukowski
This is my first feeble attempt at a “Charles Bukowski” style poem. I know it’s hideous, so try not to laugh too hard. And, by the way, there is nothing biographical about this poem AT ALL! SNICKER! SNORT!
Lady Godiva
I played the bedpan
In the Lady Godiva Memorial Bnad
Wearing a yellow hardhat
Covered
In slogans.
9T3, Oh Goo! Harf up a lung!
I did it all
In the New College
That was my home
My sisters
My family
I drank peach schnapps
Straight from the bottle,
A liquid education
Mixing drinks
With chemical precision.
A party cup
Of Long Island Iced Tea
To wash down
The quadratic equations.
Rum and Coke
Seemed a biological
Requirement.
Tequila with beer chasers
Was more than a
Trivial Pursuit.
My lowest
Was gin
And apple juice.
Vomit
Blackout
A mat on the bathroom floor
To blot the
Juices of others.
The thermodynamics
Of university passion;
A PowderPuff halfback
In a Devonshire universe.
Of garbage can liquor
And toga party chasers.
Staggering Spadina senseless.
Sex in communal showers,
Sex in dorm room bunk beds,
Sex in restaurant washrooms,
A merry widow of straps and
Tangled limbs
Handcuffs and fellatio.
Garters, stockings,
Teddies and Clancy.
Holding hands
In the darkness,
Lips and tongues
Together.
Engineering
A Skule education
With
A pre-med major
On my back
At the
University of Toronto.
Want to know more about the bnad?
I never played with the Bnad when this happened – way before my time!
Manure Gurl 